Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me
All - ah peaceful melody
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch on closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This is out fate, I'm yours

Name : Jackson Tay
Age : 19
Brithday : 02 March 1989
Status : Attached


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♥Girlfriend - Eileen
Best Buddy - Clement
Special - Si'en (Sunshine)
Jie Mei - Xin Ting
Jie Mei - Esther
Jie Mei - Elim
Brothers - Mark , Joseph , Kai Wei , Min Hong , Johnathan , Jason , Shafiq , Vincent

It's 3:35 am.. And I am not asleep. I still up staring at the dark black ceiling. It's raining outside. Raining hard. Lighting and thunder roars throughout the early morning sky. Once again I am still wide awake.

My PSP D-pad's up key is gone. I am unable to press up that easily anymore. MY Evo 8's gear ain't cutting it. It just wont move. My laptop is getting pretty much laggy'ier that ever... seems 512 mb of ram is just not enough.

Everyone should be sleeping at this time yet I am up. Mood starts to swing and thoughts flood my mind. School's kinda tight nowadays. Being at the elite end ain't what i want. Knowing too much is a problem. How to stay this high... i wonder..... Why am i doing all this one might ask. I am actually doing it for you. I shall not tarnish the reputation that you have. I have to allow people to feel proud that I am your special one. Maybe just being the average guy just don't quite cuts it.

Things aren't the way they were before, I suddenly realize that I am turning 20 in like 5mths. After poly it's army. And after that what? Finding a job? Study is definitely impossible. Sometimes i wonder why am i restrained to things that i am able to do. Having the ability but not have the authority to do what i want to do really makes one feel crapy. Yet again not doing it shows what..? Sign or arrogance? Sign of willfulness? Or plain childishness.

IT's 3:48 now and I still pretty much awake. Guess it might happen again that i would be taken out for a day or more? Or is it that i am afraid that i wont wake up on time. Or even at all.

Seeing lightning dancing across the night sky is true amazing. Shows you how destructive yet beautiful nature truly is. Maybe just maybe I am just a weak person who carries an empty shell. To hide away whenever i want and to just be out of the picture and just stay quietly in my normal life.

My dad just woke up to scold me for no apparent reason. And now he rants away in the wee hours of the morning. Guess I could say why in all am I here to see him like that. Doesn't he know what he do make the family suffer even more. A heartless old geezer like him, smoking his life away. Thinking that only what he does is right and contain no wrong at all. I am a sad son to be speaking the way in which i am now. Guess all he really wants is me out of the house, out of his life and making sure that I don't spend his money or what so ever.

I know you own the bloodly house , the bloodly furniture and the bloodly water heater. So what you want me to do. There's no way in hell am i going to let u torture my mom and sis in which ever abuse you want. (Now he rants away like an old man talking to himself as if he's crazy). WAKE up la. Who do u think u are. YOU are an unemployed old geezer whose living off retirement funds all for yourself and not giving a bit for the family. [note: I have had any allowance from him for the past 2 mths]. Guess maybe it's time for me to jsut stay home.

Protect what's left that is important to me.

This is what I vowed that i am going to do.

First --> I am going to do well in sch even if i dont want to. I am going to get an above average grade so that I wont be left behind and allowing me to have a change to have further advance ment.
Even If i really dont want to....
Second --> I am going to give most of my army allowance to my mom and sis. I am not going to be a freaking freeloader.
Even If I can't be there all the time...
Third --> Once I am out. I gona work my ass off. Dedicating everything to my family. Even if its gona kill me faster and burn my life out, I wont allow any of them to suffer. I will allow them to be financally sound at the cost of my happiness.
Even If it kills me...
Lastly --> Should I come to the stage where I will lose everything of my social life. I will do it.
Your happiness comes first.

Always , YOURS

CLOSE ONES.
Esther
Eileen
Lena Ng
Si'en
Xin Ting
Van Tan

[ Memories of the Past. ]]

May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
June 2009
September 2009
May 2010